Parenting has a way of reaching into the deepest parts of us—the places that reveal our fears, insecurities, and longings for control. Wherever you are in your parenting journey, we hope this helps you take your next step toward trusting the Lord more fully as you raise your kids.
Parenting digs deep—it exposes our fears, control issues, and insecurities. In this conversation, Jamie and Heather explore the two ditches parents often fall into: being too controlling or too hands-off.
Both stem from fear—fear of losing control, fear of comparison, fear that our kids’ choices reflect us.
Most of us drift toward one of two extremes in parenting.
The first ditch: Authoritarian. We become too controlling, confusing obedience with heart transformation. Our homes might look orderly on the outside, but they’re not emotionally safe.
The second ditch: Laissez-faire. We resist structure and discipline, convincing ourselves that being “friends” with our kids is enough. In our attempt to give freedom, we neglect the boundaries that help our children flourish.
Both ditches have the same root: fear. Fear that if we don’t manage, protect, or fix things ourselves, everything will fall apart—fear that trusting God won’t be enough.
That fear shows up differently in every season—fear of failure, fear of comparison, fear that our children’s choices reflect our worth.
We start asking questions like, Am I doing a good job? Are my kids keeping up?
When we lead from fear, we project our insecurities onto our kids. We try to do for them what God intends to do in them. But faith invites us to trust that the same God who is shaping us is also shaping them.
Parenting feels more vulnerable than almost anything else. It’s hard to separate who we are from who our kids become.
But we have to remember: our children were never meant to be a reflection of us; they were meant to reflect Him.
And the only way they’ll learn to walk with God is if we let them face some hard things with Him.
We often want to smooth every path to make life easier for them, but growth doesn’t happen in comfort. Scripture tells us that endurance leads to joy. If we rescue them from every difficulty, they may grow taller, but not necessarily wiser or more mature.
Parenting was never meant to be done alone. There’s wisdom all around us if we’re willing to listen—teachers, pastors, counselors, and older parents who’ve walked the road before us.
Sometimes, the most spiritual thing you can do is ask for help. It could be as simple as praying, “Lord, I trust them to Your care.”
You want your kids to become all God designed them to be, but you can’t get them there by your own effort.
Your role is to guide, love, and model what faith looks like in everyday life—and then to entrust them to the One who loves them more than you do.
Parenting might be the greatest discipleship opportunity we’ll ever have. God uses it to form us into the image of His Son—not just for our sake, but for our children’s.
As Paul said, “Follow me as I follow Christ.” How we walk through hardship becomes the model our kids will follow.
Jesus said, “In this world, you will have trouble.” Our job isn’t to remove the trouble—it’s to walk through it with our kids, showing them what it means to be a faithful follower of Christ in the middle of it all.
Show notes:
In this episode, they mention
The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt
Tell Me More Podcast episode: Faith Without Works Isn’t Faith at All
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